After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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