Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize