yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i've created a new STD.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
