Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
