But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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