So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
