So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
