He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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