singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
