dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
