she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
someone threw a dead crab at me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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