My cat gives me a boner
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
