I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dicks are not precious.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
