He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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