dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
