Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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