We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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