In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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