Old men and throwing up are my life now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
