Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
