you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
