put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
