It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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