someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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