DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
