He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
