Whod you bang
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
