I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
