$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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