Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
