just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize