then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
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I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
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I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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