My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
