I think my fart just growled at me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
