rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
