actually, I'm a sock model
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
