is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
