things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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