I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
