Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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