I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
