I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i think im in europe. pls send help
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
