...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
