you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize