I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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