Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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