I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
