Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i need some magic done to my vagina
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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