the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize