His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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