I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
