I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
