508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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