just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
