I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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