youre lurking in front of me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
