I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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