I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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