Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
