BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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