just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
