Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
